life Archives - Emily A. Clark

My (Not So) Funny Valentine

Feb142019

My husband would be the first to tell you that Valentine’s Day around here hasn’t always been so funny. Well, it is now that we’re 18+ years into marriage and too busy to dwell on it, but at the time, there was no laughing involved.

(Amour art can be found here.)

In fact, there were a lot of tears the year that I was nine months pregnant and he thought buying me a label maker(!!) was a romantic gesture. (Remember the scene from Father of the Bride when Annie gets a blender from her fiancé? I had a similar reaction.) To be clear, I had never–and still haven’t–expressed any interest in or desire to own a label maker.

There was also the year when we were dating and he bought me a rain CD (the prehistoric version of Alexa playing white noise), dropped it off and then went out with his friends. . . And yet another year when I suggested that we make each other presents and then when he actually did it, my feelings were hurt because I had bought him something. (My fault.)

I tell you all of this (with his permission, by the way) to say that marriage does get better with time and Valentine’s Day becomes much less significant. (Many of you are way ahead of me and can already attest to this.) Believe it or not, young brides, the things that you once put so much weight on will eventually/probably become the most ridiculous to you at some point in your life. I just heard on the news the other day that the majority of money spent on Valentine’s gifts are by people in relationships three years or newer. (There’s a reason for that.) Everyday dependability (like someone who will change explosive diapers or clean up vomit at 2am) starts to look way more attractive in the long run than grand romantic gestures. It may not sound magical but it’s a good place to be.

Want to know what I specifically asked for this year? I requested that my 12-passenger van (or party bus, as we like to call it) be professionally cleaned inside and out. I’ve literally been driving around a bacteria-mobile and I can’t stand it. He came through and I couldn’t be happier! But, he knew well enough to ask me at least 11 times if I was “sure that’s what I really wanted.” :) He may still be traumatized from my meltdowns in past years. . . It’s safe to say that we’ve come a long way from the label maker days.

Okay, so I always love hearing your stories. What is your funniest/most ridiculous/most terrible Valentine’s Day gift? Do tell.

Instagram Observations

Feb282018

It wasn’t necessarily an intentional decision, but I’ve pulled back from Instagram lately and the space has made me think about why I really use it in the first place. For blog purposes, it’s my favorite social media by far. I love creating and posting pretty pictures of our house. (Notice I say “creating” because rarely do those shots occur naturally without first kicking toys or shoes out of the way.) It’s also so much easier to create great looking shots when they’re contained in a small square (no high-resolution or professional camera equipment required).

But from the position of an observer, I’m loving it less and less. I feel like the more I scroll, everything starting to look more the same. And Instagram stories. . . . where do I begin? Do you love them or hate them? I rarely speak on mine and there’s a good reason behind that. Sometimes it’s just better to enjoy a person through their writing voice or photos; know what I mean? While there are a lot of feeds I enjoy following, there are only a handful of IG’ers I actually watch on stories. I love to see a glimpse or two of what’s going on in someone’s day or something fun they’ve discovered or even their kids (sometimes) doing something adorable. (I especially love the laughing babies.) But, some of these “stories” have become full-on reality shows and I can’t/don’t want to keep up. If you have 82 dashes (stories) at the top of your frame, be assured I’m moving on to the next person. . .

A few other funny/interesting things I’ve observed lately as I’ve scrolled through Instagram:

–Date nights. Every week. Does this really happen? (If so, good for you.) When we do manage to make it out of the house, I’m never in heels and we almost always go out to eat, followed by a Target run for paper towels or something to that effect. Maybe this only reflects poorly on us, but I just don’t buy it.

-“Not what I’m doing right now” photos. I admit I’m occasionally guilty of this, too, but I always feel like a dweeb when I do it. These are the perfect life photos followed by a caption that goes something like “Wishing I was wearing this sassy red dress out on the town but I’m actually watching Netflix in my PJ’s.” Okay. . . Aren’t these a direct contradiction to the idea of “Insta”? (I’ve never actually used that particular caption, by the way.)

-Pronouncing the “g” on -ing words. No. No. NO! This one pertains specifically to IG stories. Maybe it’s just me but I swear I’ve noticed lots of people pronouncing the silent g on the end of -ing words. Laughing becomes laughing-guh, jogging becomes jogging-guh, loving becomes loving-guh. Have you noticed this, too? I swear I googled it to make sure I hadn’t been saying this wrong all of my life, but I’m happy to report that the g is, in fact, still silent.

-Animal filters (also on IG stories). WHY? Should I be doing this? If you’re telling me about your favorite paint color or your latest blog post, I feel like I need to see your real face. But maybe I’m in the minority here. . .

-People don’t love pictures of your/my kids. I get it. A guaranteed way to loose a handful of followers quickly is to post photos of my family. I’m okay with that and still do it occasionally. More power to you all that have a large following and do it all the time anyway. I do have a private account for very few friends and family where I can happily post 24 pictures of my kids at one time and not one of nine followers unfollows. These are the photos I look at when I just want to feel happy. You know, the real stuff of life.

How’s Instagram for you these days? A friend and I recently had a conversation about all of this and I thought it would be fun to share here, too. I’m anxious to hear your thoughts. . . Love it, hate it, or both?

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Photoshopping Crumbs (and Other Truths)

Jul282017

I feel like that for the most part, I’m pretty up front with you. I’ve never had a good poker face and have always felt like I was being less than honest if I didn’t spill everything that was on my mind. (That can be a good or bad thing, depending. . .) But when I get comments on my blog or Instagram asking about how I keep my house so clean with five kids or how my kitchen countertop stays so clear, I feel like I’ve somehow misled you.

You see, I’m 99.9% sure that 99.9% of us all live in much the same way. My kids spill juice down the white cabinets as soon as I’ve cleaned up, my husband leaves dirty socks in the living room floor, my kitchen countertop is never, like ever, clean unless I’m taking photos for the blog (in which case, all of our crap is moved over to the kitchen table or another surface). It’s how life works if you live in your home–and we live pretty hard in ours.

And another truth: I feel discouraged about how terrible I’m doing with keeping up with it all–a lot of the time. I want a clean kitchen, but I don’t really want to mop the floor because as soon as I do, they’ll come in and smash blackberries or drip chocolate ice cream all over it. It’s the never ending battle that I choose to fight on only a semi-regular basis. Clean enough, not spotless, is the goal most days and there’s a lot of days where even that doesn’t happen. If I’m being completely honest (and I am), I photoshopped some crumbs out of my kitchen floor for an Instagram photo the other day. I didn’t see them until I got ready to post. You see? I’m growing immune to it all.

We’ve all heard the whole “social media is the highlight real”, blah blah blah. And we know it’s true. So, why don’t we believe it? I do it, too. I get suckered into believing there’s some cute little mom dressing her kids in matching outfits, keeping a spotless all-white house, feeding them a healthy, mess-free lunch, all while documenting her entire day on Instagram stories with the help of some mysterious photographer. It’s all bologna, we know it, and yet we buy into it anyway. (First of all, if you’re documenting your entire day or posting to Facebook every 20 minutes about what activity you’re doing with your kids, you probably have no idea what your kids are actually doing. . . Most likely, they’re swinging from the ceiling fan like an amusement park ride or cutting their own hair. I may possibly speak from experience.)

So, here’s a little encouragement for all of you mentally counting down the days until school starts: You see nice pictures, but my house is upside down, too. Like all of the time. Sometimes, I can’t even walk a straight line for all of the mess in the upstairs hallway. I pick up the bathroom hand towel from the floor 17 times a day. I may or may not have end-of-school papers still stacked on my kitchen table. I rarely walk from point A to point B without smashing a Cocoa Puff under my foot.

But just think: only a few more weeks and our kitchens will all be spotless, countertops will be clear and backpacks will return to their hooks with care–or let’s just keep telling ourselves that anyway. Because as my dad once told me, false hope is better than no hope at all. ;) Happy Summer!

See you all in a week or so. I’m taking actual time off with no computer.

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