I feel like that for the most part, I’m pretty up front with you. I’ve never had a good poker face and have always felt like I was being less than honest if I didn’t spill everything that was on my mind. (That can be a good or bad thing, depending. . .) But when I get comments on my blog or Instagram asking about how I keep my house so clean with five kids or how my kitchen countertop stays so clear, I feel like I’ve somehow misled you.
You see, I’m 99.9% sure that 99.9% of us all live in much the same way. My kids spill juice down the white cabinets as soon as I’ve cleaned up, my husband leaves dirty socks in the living room floor, my kitchen countertop is never, like ever, clean unless I’m taking photos for the blog (in which case, all of our crap is moved over to the kitchen table or another surface). It’s how life works if you live in your home–and we live pretty hard in ours.
And another truth: I feel discouraged about how terrible I’m doing with keeping up with it all–a lot of the time. I want a clean kitchen, but I don’t really want to mop the floor because as soon as I do, they’ll come in and smash blackberries or drip chocolate ice cream all over it. It’s the never ending battle that I choose to fight on only a semi-regular basis. Clean enough, not spotless, is the goal most days and there’s a lot of days where even that doesn’t happen. If I’m being completely honest (and I am), I photoshopped some crumbs out of my kitchen floor for an Instagram photo the other day. I didn’t see them until I got ready to post. You see? I’m growing immune to it all.
We’ve all heard the whole “social media is the highlight real”, blah blah blah. And we know it’s true. So, why don’t we believe it? I do it, too. I get suckered into believing there’s some cute little mom dressing her kids in matching outfits, keeping a spotless all-white house, feeding them a healthy, mess-free lunch, all while documenting her entire day on Instagram stories with the help of some mysterious photographer. It’s all bologna, we know it, and yet we buy into it anyway. (First of all, if you’re documenting your entire day or posting to Facebook every 20 minutes about what activity you’re doing with your kids, you probably have no idea what your kids are actually doing. . . Most likely, they’re swinging from the ceiling fan like an amusement park ride or cutting their own hair. I may possibly speak from experience.)
So, here’s a little encouragement for all of you mentally counting down the days until school starts: You see nice pictures, but my house is upside down, too. Like all of the time. Sometimes, I can’t even walk a straight line for all of the mess in the upstairs hallway. I pick up the bathroom hand towel from the floor 17 times a day. I may or may not have end-of-school papers still stacked on my kitchen table. I rarely walk from point A to point B without smashing a Cocoa Puff under my foot.
But just think: only a few more weeks and our kitchens will all be spotless, countertops will be clear and backpacks will return to their hooks with care–or let’s just keep telling ourselves that anyway. Because as my dad once told me, false hope is better than no hope at all. ;) Happy Summer!
See you all in a week or so. I’m taking actual time off with no computer.
Thank you, Emily, for your post. My husband and two sons are coming home today after two weeks at National Boy Scout Jamboree. My daughter & I repainted our bathroom, and sorted and straightened many areas of our house while they were away. We made time for some fun adventures of our own, too.
As I sit here now, looking at the clear surfaces and beautifully arranged spaces, it feels really good. Not much gives me as much satisfaction as when I can relax in a clean house. That being said, I cannot wait for my husband and my boys to return home tonight, mess and all. I, like you, count my blessings every day!
“I may or may not have end-of-school papers still stacked on my kitchen table.”
Yes. Just…YES! Or, it may or may not be the kitchen island…full disclosure…
I agree, it’s such a battle everyday and it comes with so much guilt when it never seems to get better. I’ve developed a few cleaning routines that I try to follow every day but other than that, it’s definitely best to just accept it as it is. And, when the time comes to teach them how to clean up after themselves, hopefully things will get a little easier! And haha, I love your dad’s quote that false hope is better than no hope at all. I’m going to start using that!
Thank you for this post. I really needed it today!
So true! It ain’t all glory all the time (though kind of wish it was). But, will admit, that is why I am loving the instagram stories, I see all my fave instagramers looking real, with their kids, with no makeup, kid just spilled milk or just laying on the bed with their kids still in pajamas cause they just can’t get up yet. I started doing the same with my instagram and the “real love” is awesome from my followers. I love that we now can share the “real behind the scenes” moments. :)
Emily, you make me feel so much better! Even with children grown and out of the house it is a constant battle to keep things picked up. I appreciate your honesty! Enjoy your time off!
Great post! I only have ONE kid and a husband to clean up after, and its a battle. I get discouraged too, but then I think about the lonely, spotless home I would have without them. Actually, it would still be a mess, but I wouldn’t have anyone to blame it on ;) Thanks for blogging and giving us a glimpse into your life. Your kitchen is beautiful, crumbs & all!
Emily, I don’t have children, so I’m not sure what my excuse is — but thank you for this! I’m always in awe of how lovely your home is, and doubly so for this post. Life isn’t that crazy level of perfection, no matter how pretty it is to scroll by on instagram. It’s boring.
Thanks for keeping it real! :)
It does make me feel better to know that I am not the only one with a constantly messy house (in spite of my best efforts)! As always, thanks for being so real!
I love this post. Thanks for being honest, I think all of us moms live truly similar lives :).
Awesome post. My son and d-I-love have six kids (five boys!) and feel the same way. Plus, she homeschool so them all. There will be time enough later in life (like where my husband and I are now:) for a home to stay neat and clean. At least til they all visit!
here here!!!
Thank You! Thank you! Love you for this!
So how do you like the honed granite countertops and where did you get them?
I really do love you 😘
I just love you <3!! While the Renewal by Anderson man was here talking to us earlier today, I was looking at my kitchen table with crumbs on it (plus 1/4 of it had a pile of crap), looking at all of the crumbs on the floor, fingerprints all over the french doors, dust on the windows, etc., etc., etc. It is impossible to keep up with! I am always darned impressed with your house photos and how perfect everything always looks. But knowing you have 5 kids (I only have 3), I also know it probably takes a lot to get those pictures looking as beautiful as they do. I get it! Reality check √. Enjoy your time off – I'll miss you!!
ah, thank you for not answering the, “how do you do it?” questions with a 20-step post about how you do it and how we can do it too!
how do we do it? it’s messy and stressed and late to drop-off but it gets done! and we’re all in this together!
The mysterious Photographer! That’s always my wonder! Who takes these perfect shots anyways? Loved this post and your honesty!
Thankful I’m not just a slob (though I probably kinda am)…with 3 boys ages 1, 3, and 5, the struggle is real/impossible. And even though I “know” other people have messy houses, it’s nice to KNOW it :)
“Cleaning the house while children are growing is like trying to shovel the driveway while it’s still snowing.” Not sure what my problem is then (some of it is that the grown children still have their stuff here), but amen to reality!
Thank you for sharing. I have been discouraged lately with our house full of four kids. It is NEVER clean! This makes me feel normal! I love your blog!!
You are such a breath of fresh air. Kindred!!
You’re the best. This totally has me smiling!
love your honest posts!! followed you now for a few years and hands down you are my absolute favorite. thanks for being you!! enjoy computer-free living & summer with the family❤ Heather
Your preaching to the choir. Every mom has had the frustration of try to clean something and in the meantime the kids and dogs are making two more messes. This two will pass.
Enjoy your time off,you deserve it.
Enjoy the week off. You will be missed.
I always kind of hit the wall emotionally at this part of the summer. We’ve had our vacations, done some fun things, but with everyone home, the house is a pit and so loud!!! It helps so much to know that others are fighting the same battle. And wine. Wine helps, too!
First time commenter here (long time reader) but this is exactly why I read your blog! Love your sense of humor – it’s a must in life! – and love your honesty. Thanks for keepin it real Emily!
Amen, sister! I had 4 boys in five years! In some ways it’s getting cleaner (two are school aged), but I believe it’s a truth that FAMILIES ARE MESSY. I’ve accepted that, and although I long for a clean house, I’m happier with what I have.
Thank you. One of the reason’s I follow your blog is because you are honest about real life. I’m widowed and don’t have children at home anymore and am, in fact, expecting my first two grandchildren this fall so I shouldn’t really have the messy house issue. However, if you looked around my house right now, you’d swear a passel of kids lived with me as there is baby stuff that people have given me all over, nursery furniture painting projects in my foyer, paint samples taped to my bathroom wall, and paper crafting projects all over my kitchen counter. These reasons are why I never started a home dec/lifestyle blog. Because most of what we see on the interwebs isn’t real. So…thank you for being real.
Thank you for this post, Emily – not just the story but also the photo of your kitchen island filled with Gatorade bottles, paper towels, water guns, etc.! I have always been a “minimalist” housecleaner, but the clutter during the summer drives me crazy Every.Single.Year!!! SO glad to know I’m not alone.
I’ve never seen you as the fake blogger-type, but thanks for keeping it real! I would’ve enjoyed more
Messy house pics, though.;)
Ha! The stuff on your island looks a lot like the stuff on mine, right down to the same flavor of Gatorade. And what is it about Cheezits that make them like kiddie crack??? Thank you so much for making us all feel better about the “real” in our lives. Happy Summer!
This is an awesome post! Thank you for keeping it real :)
LOL….
Five kids (4 daughters and a son) also.
I may or may not – not only have school papers from June still hanging around, and a pile of Xmas cards below them, laying on top of Easter, birthday and graduation cards from earlier in the year….
I may or may not have never unpacked school bags from the last day of school. My garage looks like we have ninety kids instead of just three. Throw pillows are for throwing in my house. My white cabinets have been victims of a spaghetti incident that I am choosing to blackout. Summer is flying this year and I am turning a blind eye to the mess. Glad to hear that you are too! I always love when you show pictures of the real life stuff. It’s how I know you are my people. Enjoy the time off!
Thirty some years ago, a former neighbor told me, “this too shall pass” and she was right.
I have two small kids (1 and 3 years old) and I very much get caught up in trying to endlessly clean my house while the kids are simultaneously tearing it apart. And whenever people come over I apologize for this or that. But the other month, I went to my friend’s house who is in the next stage of life with five kids ages 2 to 12 years old and learned such a valuable lesson. Kids were running around everywhere in her house having fun and she was enjoying them. She had piles on her counters and toys strewn all about but she didn’t apologize. She just seemed to be living a full life and was truly happy and confident with herself and her home felt full of love. The mess didn’t feel like mess to me, it just felt like life. I came away that day committing to be more like her, letting life happen and cleaning where I can but not getting so caught up in perfection and definitely not apologizing for life happening. Anyways, thanks for this post! You seem very much like my friend that I admire and I hope I can be an engaged, happy mom like you both!
So honest you are Emily. Really cleaning home doesn’t make everyday. I choose to do just basic cleaning everyday and rest on weekends only. Thanks for the post!
Emily God bless you for keeping it real. I’ve been off of social media for eight months now and my life is better for it!! I say we start a campaign called “let’s get off!”
“It’s all bologna, we know it, and yet we buy into it anyway.”
This exact thing happened to me this morning when I was looking at a gorgeous video of a home in Charleston on IG. The video showed this amazing piazza decked out with ceiling fans, tie-back curtains, whicker furniture, with piano music playing in the background to set the mood, and to top it off they showed an overlook of the side yard to see a beautiful garden walkway…it looked so pretty that I googled the address so I could see the rest of the home. While the house looked pretty…the rest of the street…not so much! There was a burnt out building across the street…a electric pole in the corner of the front yard with tons of electrical lines hanging down…other houses were worn out with unkept yards. I just sat there in disbelief thinking…”It’s all in how you edit to create the illusion of perfection”. I love Charleston so I’ll keep looking at it’s beauty, but will now keep in mind that not every shot tells the whole story.
But like you said…I already knew that because I do it with my own pictures, and yet, I bought into it anyway. lol!
Never spotless, but reasonably picked up and clean– this is achievable, from experience. Sure, spilled drinks and dropped food happen all the time, but the spillers and the droppers are perfectly capable to wipe and pick up. It won’t be ever sparkling clean but I am not the sole cleaner in my house. I think once a kid is 4, he or she can handle some basic chores, not to mention 10– 12 year olds. Let’s not be martyrs.
I value your honesty and appreciate how you value your readers with it. I recently told my husband that one of the reasons I enjoy the IKEA catolog is because it tends to showcase the “clutter” of everyday life. While I love a clean home with everything in its place, I have two busy boys who value snacks and cars more ☺️ It’s a careful balancing act to create a home that’s properly cared for by the whole family and well lived – I feel like you strike that balance and it is so inspirational.
I have a secret for getting the hand towel to stay in place: a big safety pin, like the ones that used to be for cloth diapers. Pin the folded towel together just under the towel bar, it’s magic!
I don’t know you, but I love you for saying this. For posting the reality of it all. I constantly feel defeated and it’s encouraging to know I’m not alone. Logically I know that, but when we are bombarded with the lies, it becomes harder to believe. So thank you!