A few months ago, I asked if you have or had ever had a housekeeper. I felt like I was drowning in a dirty house with no time to clean it. I thought I’d follow up with a quick update: I’m still drowning in a dirty house with no time to clean it.
faucet (similar)
However, I did hire a cleaning service shortly after the first post. I was so encouraged by your comments to get over my guilt and ask for help that I found a local company and set up an initial “deep cleaning.” And, it was fabulous—although a little embarrassing. For the first visit, the company sent a team of 4-5 people who all decided to drive separately to our house. There’s nothing like having four cars, each with a prominent cleaning company logo on the side, lined up in your driveway. I’m sure the neighbors probably thought they were excavating the place.
my handheld vac // drawer pulls
After the first cleaning, they came every other week for a “quick clean” which covered the kitchen, bathrooms and living room. (Kids—you’re on your own!) It was great for the first few times, and then I began to realize why I had stopped using a housekeeper several years ago. First, the magic lasted all of twenty minutes. It becomes hard (for me) to justify paying someone to clean our house when the kids immediately come in, drop their stuff, drag snacks out of the pantry and inevitably smash Goldfish and drop an entire yogurt on the very recently cleaned floor. It’s the same feeling as chipping your polish as soon as you get back in your car after a manicure. Aaaarrrggh.
And, then there’s all the dang prep work it takes to get out the door before they come. What no one else in my family understands is that it takes a lot of time to put every single thing they drop around the house in some kind of place. Everything. I found myself sweating and throwing stuff in drawers and closets 10 minutes before they were suppose to arrive, and of course, promising myself I would organize and throw away bags full of things before they came again in two weeks. I didn’t.
(I love this vacuum—as much as you can love a vacuum—if you’re looking for one.)
So, I quit my housekeeper. I tried. But in this season of life, it was bringing me more stress than joy. So, what was the point? My new strategy is to stay on top of the kitchen, hand the toilet brush over to my husband and close the kids’ doors. For now, it is what it is.
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I’ve had the same experience! “Cleaning” for the cleaning people is exhausting!!! I think the only way around it is to have a full time person who only does your house and knows where everything goes…and we certainly can’t pay a full-time housekeeper. I do believe a biannual or even quarterly deep clean helps us. That way I can clean as I am able and know that somebody’s going to eventually vacuum under the beds and wipe down every cabinet. If you were happy with the service you had, have them come again in a few months. I also loved cleanings on Mondays because I set aside some time on the weekend to straighten. It’s hard to keep a clean house with little ones, but this too shall pass. My boys are teenagers and their rooms are messes (less so than when they were younger) but they are pretty good about keeping the main areas clean because they know it’s important to me. You’ll get there! Blessings to you!
I love your conclusion! I’m one of those weird people that likes to clean but my frustration is exactly what you said – you clean it and as soon as someone walks into the house they make it dirty again. And add to that no time to clean! At my day job I do everything from cleaning toilets to accounts payable and payroll. It’s funny, I never get any complaints about how I clean the toilets but someone is ALWAYS calling me on the other stuff! Maybe I should get a job with a cleaning service:)
I have had a cleaning service that comes every 2 weeks pretty much since my high school senior was born. Definitely for the first 14 years, I felt that mad scramble stress and the aggravation that the house got messy again so quickly with 3 kids in the house. The last few years, the scramble is much less. The kids are older and don’t have toys everywhere. Schools have let up on the paper they send home, and I’ve gotten a little better at straightening up as we go between cleaning days. For me, it was still worth the pre-cleaning stress because there was no possible way that I would have ever had the house completely clean in those years. At the minimum, I knew that if someone was coming over, I could spend an hour straightening, sweep the floor and the house would be presentable. :) Good for you on recognizing what is more stressful for this time in your life, and I encourage you to give it a try again when your youngest hit middle school!
I can totally relate. I feel like half the cleaning is picking up. If everything is picked up, then the cleaning goes quickly. I do enjoy a house cleaner for special occasions (we have someone come the day before we get home from vacation – which is heavenly for our cats fur mess) or when we are hosting something. Then it feels like a wonderful treat. But mostly, I’ve resigned myself to being our cleaning person, for this very reason :)
As a fellow mom of 5, I’ve just made peace with the fact that my house is going to be messy. I’m raising children, not trying to win an award for the cleanest house. My kids are happy and healthy, my floor may not be, but screw it! It doesn’t matter.
That’s the spirit! Ha! We’re on the same page :)
Love your conclusion! I felt the same way-I feel so defeated when the kids come home, and my clean/ picked up house looks like a bomb went off within 5 minutes. I’ve tried to except the fact that this is a stage of life I’m in and it won’t last forever. Enjoy the “mess” :) If I were you, I’d hire for the deep cleaning service once a month :)
ps. I’ve been meaning to ask, what stain is you flooring? I have to pick mine in two weeks and I’m freaking out! THANKS!
I’m not sure about the floor stain. We had it matched up with what was already in the rest of the house when we moved in.
I feel the exact same way! A clean house doesn’t always mean a happy house! I have definitely learned to let it go (including the half taken down wallpaper in my hallway) and it will get done eventually! Thanks for your honesty. You are one of the OG bloggers I still read daily and enjoy.
I tidy. And my family leaves stuff everywhere afterward. I just enjoy knowing that my house is only messy, not actually dirty. And I have a cleaning lady who doesn’t mind picking up some stuff if I’ve been slammed at work and can’t tidy everything before she arrives.
Yep! As a mother of five myself, there were definite seasons of life where the mess being more pronounced than others. I haven’t used a cleaning service, but I periodically accomplished a fifteen minute “tidy up” at the end of the day. I used the summers to involve the kids help on deep sorting and giving away. A couple of Saturday mornings a month we would set a timer for an hour and made a list together of what chores needed to be done and then paired up with each other (I rounded out the pairing with the 5th). We worked as hard as we could until the timer went off and then gave ourselves a reward for our efforts. Usually to the donut shop! Clean enough for us…
I’ve been a housekeep and remember telling people don’t clean before I come. It’s easy for us to straighten things out. We don’t worry so why should you. Hire them back, I even hired a fellow housekeeper when foot surgery had me down for 6 months. Go ahead, it’s all right!
I love that vacuum too!! Seriously, it works great and you can’t beat the price! And, I close my kids’ doors too — what I can’t see won’t hurt me, right?
As one of five girls, I realized when I became an adult that my mother had a pretty good system. Keeping things mostly picked up and put away was (still is) the key. We never had a regular cleaning day that I can remember, and I definitely don’t remember anyone slaving over cleaning toilets! But the place was always presentable. Organization goes a long way. I’m sure I’ve thrown away or given away stuff that I could use, but if I’m (or someone else) not using it I get rid of it. Having a place for everything helps, too!
This is really helpful, thanks! I’ve hired a cleaner twice; once when my 4th baby wouldn’t nap and I couldn’t take the not-cleaned bathrooms anymore, and recently when we moved and I didn’t want to do another deep clean after doing the move-out clean on our old house (previous owners here weren’t super fastidious, I guess). TOTALLY AMAZING both times. I love the idea of hiring someone just before you get home from vacation or the hospital with a new baby or before big events, but yeah, right now, little kids, everything is undone IMMEDIATELY. And I’m terrible about getting them involved in cleaning because they, well, do a terrible job. ;)
Yes! Glad I’m not the only one! In addition to the struggle of spending an entire day picking up the house before the cleaners arrive, I had difficulty finding a good cleaner. I don’t mind paying someone to do a job, but I expect it to be done well. I would be so frustrated when a supposed deep clean skipped over baseboards and even toilets! Ugh! Too much stress! Now, I try to make cleaning relaxing (if that’s even possible)….cozy jazz on the Google Play station and a glass of wine while I dust and mop…
A glass of wine would definitely make cleaning more relaxing ;)
My fifth child is eighteen, so I hope I speak from experience. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is family work. This is not cleaning up their own messes, but working with and for their family–vacuuming, dusting, doing dishes and mopping. They learn to be concerned about others as they do family chores. They learn about cooperation and that work brings peace and harmony to a home. These lessons go with them as they go out into the bigger world. No sports team, music lesson or outside activity is more important than what a family gains when they work with and for each other. Yes, it is harder than just doing it yourself, but some of our fondest memories are Saturday mornings working to the music of The Beatles.
“Amen”, says this mother of nine grown kids.
I think contributing to the house hold in this way gave my kids self confidence as well as life skills just as important as their soccer, ballet, choir, whatever…Plus they were a big help to me!
In my house also. Every Saturday morning was spent cleaning the house. No it wasn’t fun but kids need to learn we have to do things that aren’t always fun. And we always had the stereo cranked up & managed to fit some dancing in.
Yes! I agree with everything you said! I am one of five and my parents had us helping with household chores at a very young age and that lasted all the way thru adulthood. Regrettably, I didn’t start my kids out on chores as early as my parents did but have been making up for it the past few years. They may not do things exactly as I like them, especially folding the laundry, but it gets done.
Was just going to post something similar.
At the very least, designate a basket for each child and have them go around and pick up their stuff and take it to their room. As they get older, add more chores.
When children have to help clean up the mess they learn responsibility… as well as not messing as much in the first place.
Oh we have no shortage of baskets around here. Ha! A lot of people just have a lot of stuff… And, even with the older kids doing some chores, ain’t nobody going to get down and scrub the crud off of my kitchen floor except for me ;)
Why not?
The “cleaning for the cleaning crew” is no joke! We abandoned it for the same reason, but we do have them in for a deep clean once or twice a year. Good friends of ours gifted us a one-time cleaning service around the holidays last year – I had never thought to have one done then, but it was amazing. In the meantime, I just keep sweeping up the gold fish, tossing the random socks into the laundry room, while the toddler makes her next mess. She’s worse that the 3 older ones combine ;)
Loved your feedback. I think I’d feel the exact same way: once my kids and dog enter the house, all bets are off. I’ve just resigned myself to being in the (very long) season of not having a super-clean house. :)
this post is just so me. it must be genetic, because i remember my mom going through the same thing! it always sounds so good until you have to clean the house for the house cleaners♥
I say no, don’t quit! I used to preclean for the housekeeper as well, but I have learn to look passed it. If there is something out of place, she will do her best to put it where it belongs. I find that it keeps me ahead of the game…at least a little bit anyway.
Good for you. I enjoy your honesty so much.
I have a cleaning lady come in once a month to do the deep cleaning – scrubbing showers, tubs, toilet, dust, mop, clean the microwave etc. For the rest of the month i just need to keep up with small cleaning tasks to maintain a presentable house.
I felt the same way you did! I find I can stay on top the day to day stuff it’s the deep cleaning I had a hard time doing so my solution was to have the house deep cleaned twice a year but going forward I’ll probably do it 4 times a year for each season. I can handle getting things picked up a few times a year to prepare for them to come but you’re right it’s a whole thing to do it every week or every other week!
Fellow mom of 5 here! My house is allows looking like its on the edge of sanity. But I did find a wonderful lady who works for herself and she picks up everything!! Its amazing! She will even do any dishes in my sink, I have become to trust her so much. There have been days that she has done laundry for me and made beds even! I think your mistake was finding a company. Try asking around for someone who works for themselves. I promise it can be great!
My husband and i had a big discussion last weekend about getting a cleaner.
I feel overwhelmed but it’s also SO MUCH money. So far we’re planning that he’ll take the kids (my kids are young, 5, 3, and 1) out of the house so I can clean the bathrooms since I can’t do it if my toddler is around. That alone takes a load off!
And that’s why I love you……you are so real! 😄
I remember when I had a house cleaner….the amount of time it took me to “clean-up” and get ready for them was exhausting! I did love the clean smells and perfection for the 20 minutes (you are right on that!!) after they left. And then it was a bomb and filthy not much later…I don’t blame you for quitting. But, I suck at cleaning so I miss them!
I have exactly the same issues, so I decided I just get someone in every second month to totally go over the bathrooms and floors. I do quick surface cleans in-between. I find tydying the most time consuming, even though my kids are older they still can’t put things away and I get impatient waiting!!! The joys. Xxx P.s don’t book them in, just when you feel like the house is looking pretty darn tidy and prepared for a clean ring and book for asap that way there’s no stress getting it ready, I agree that’s the stressful part, cupboard stuffing like a maniac before they arrive! Hahaha.
I’m ready for pictures of your house!! And esp your kitchen!
Oh my gosh, I so feel your pain! For years we had a lady that cleaned for us every two weeks and STRESS to get everything picked up and ready for her was unbelievable… after all I paid her to CLEAN not to pick up. We finally decided to let her go (budget cuts) and while I don’t have that stress I now struggle to keep my house reasonably clean. The struggle is real. :)
xo Heidi
My question for you Emily is this< would you pay for a deep cleaning every 3-4 months or so? This has been my recent train of thought, but I'm not sure if it would be worth it!
This was timely. I’m expecting child #5 any day now and my mom keeps hounding me to hire some cleaners to come in regularly after the baby comes. I have had cleaners before and it is frustrating to have a clean house the lasts about 5 minutes. My kids have been better the last few months about picking up at the end of the day, but my house is DIRTY. I think I’m going to have to be okay with it. I like the idea of having someone come in and deep clean every few months and putting up with it in between. I’m trying to to teach my kids to clean with weekly chores but their standard of clean is so far from what my standard of clean is.
Where did you get that cute green and white bottle you use for hand soap/dish soap?
I cannot imagine how hard it is to keep up your beautiful home with 4 boys!….It is hard for me to keep up with the cleaning and there is only 2 of us!…I have never had a housekeeper even when I was working over 40 hours a week!…I just felt that I would always be cleaning after them and like you said..there is some prep work prior to them coming….Hang in there!….you are a good mom!!!
Oh I just realized that I had just read Eleven Gables and had a senior moment and was thinking of her 4 boys!…sorry for the confusion in this comment!…
Ha! Well, we’re both Emily’s with a bunch of kids. :)
Honestly, children grow up fast. Way too fast! Do your best, enlist the help of your kiddos and husband, hire a service to do deep cleaning a couple times a year and enjoy this precious one life. Trust me, even when they grow up and come home for a visit, they still leave a mess! ha!
I agree with everything you said. I had a house cleaner for about 8 months, and it felt great coming home to a clean house that I didn’t actually clean. However, the frantic “pick-up” time the night before she came was ridiculous, and I don’t think she cleaned as well as I like (I’m not being proud, I just thought she should move the wastebasket and actually mop around and behind the toilets. She didn’t, which made me wonder what other corners she was cutting). I kept thinking of all the other ways we could use the money, and so I let her go. Just recently I hired a “mother’s helper”…she’s a very mature 12 year-old girl in our homeschool group who comes by every 2 weeks and plays with my kids while I clean my house. It’s working out wonderfully so far. My kids have someone to play with for an entire afternoon, she gets a little spending money, and I get to listen to my favorite podcasts/music while I give my house a scrub-down :)
Totally understand! We have no kids at home, but 5 cats! And getting ready for a cleaning visit would be unnerving. (We’d have to lock one of them up.) So we have lowered our expectations and we just do it ourselves.
You are so right. We have a housekeeper that comes every other week and it is a miserable experience every single time the night before. My kids laugh asking why I have to pick up before the housekeeper comes and then by that evening you can’t even tell anymore. I’m still debating on what to do, I travel so much that cleaning on the weekends is just exahusting
And all of a sudden I feel free (as I step on some Cheerios) ;).
Exactly :)
I appreciated this post. I have considered but felt my part time job should afford me the time to clean and I shouldn’t hire that out. I know I would be the same way-stressed about it! I think I will hold off!!
What I don’t understand is, what kind of cleaning service you (and many other people who commented) hired. I am the owner of a cleaning service and our clients never have to put ANYTHING away. We do it all! Clothes on the carpet? Dirty get folded and put in some spot, clean get dolded and put on the bed, we make beds, put away toys, any random stuff laying around just gets put in one spot. It’s not your job to clean/put away stuff before cleanig service arrives (the whoke point of having someone come and clean is to do it all for you so you dont waste your time on it, esoecially is you oay good money for it). I’ve heard that this is a practice some cleaning services use, the ones where you have a crew of 2-3 people come in for an hour or two because they have 4 houses to clean per day. Try and find a maid or a cleaning service which sends one or two cleaners who spend at least a decent amount of time to do it and who do it well, cleaning behind and under furniture and actually picking stuff up and organizing it. Another tip is to find a service who gives you an estimate with a flat rate per cleaning (describing services provided in detail on paper), not an hourly rate. For most people however, a maid is a great solution or a maid service because then you have just one indyvidual cleaning your home and spending quality time to do it plus a maid is usually more detail oriented and does extras like laundry, cleaning inside of fridge, microwave, helps with organizing, polishes silver , etc. Look around there are some great options out there but don’t try to find a big cleaning service because these tend to move from house to house quickly because they have restricted time allowed to spend on each one.
I do think you’re right about hiring a company vs. an individual. It did feel rushed.
I used to have a lady who worked for herself (when we lived in a different town) and loved her. Definitely a difference. (But, I still picked up!)
As someone who is the cleaning lady- I absolutely believe a single person as opposed to a service with several people is better. I charge one flat rate, never by the hour. I get to know the families and often stay for many years.
I personally dislike the idea of a ” deep clean” every few months, it makes things so much harder! No one should have to stress out before I come, my goodness, it’s supposed to make your life easier!!
I wish you were in Charlotte. Are you??? :)
For me, it would defeat the purpose to have someone clean my home and then have piles of things in every room that I needed to put away afterward, or that would just never get put away. You see, for those of us with many children, it’s not just a shirt or a toy on the floor here and there that a cleaner would have to pick up. It’s so much more than that. So for me, and I think Emily too, getting everything picked up and put away before the cleaner comes is essential to the cleaning being “worth it.”
hello I’m a privately contracted housekeeper through an agency and gave you ever thought about maybe having one or two come out once a month I have a few clients that do that just to get a nice scrub down in the bathrooms do the floors some dusting polishing basically anything you simply don’t have time for
I’ve had the same experience more than once! Now I just do my best (and holler at everyone to help) and when I get really overwhelmed I call a cleaning gal that I trust. It’s not perfect but it keeps me sane (more or less).
I agree with you- I have three girls (now an empty nester) and I would just shut their doors. They each had their own bathroom and I did insist that they cleaned those. I always told them I wash clothes every single day – just bring your laundry to the laundry room and don’t ever fuss if something is not clean. I had labeled crates that I would set on the stairs for them to take clean clothes to their rooms. Of course the stuff was never put in drawers but they were behind closed doors!
They are all off in different directions now, (college, law school and working for a big bank in CLT) and I would love to do their laundry or find something to clean in their room.
I agree! A lot of people spend a lot of time prepping for the house cleaning and if you don’t, things get lost. My dad has lost many things over the years to the service placing things randomly where they wouldn’t otherwise go. A deep cleaning every once in awhile would be great though! And like you said, sometimes you just have to shut doors and accept things as they are. We’ve got better things to worry about.
I’ve had a house keeper for 7 yrs, she comes once a week. I honestly don’t think we’d ever have clean laundry without her. And she does everything except my two sons rooms. She only takes their laundry and vacuums in their rooms, but she scrubs everywhere else. She’s a lifesaver.
Emily, as a fellow mom of five little kids, I feel your pain. For my last birthday I asked for a roomba and it has completely changed my life. With 5 kids and a dog I NEVER VACUUM. Ever! It’s amazing. The kids pick up as a part of their morning chores, and then after I clean up breakfast dishes I start the roomba and walk away. It is seriously the greatest gift I’ve ever received. It has totally changed my outlook on my house and the challenge of keeping it clean. It takes me 30-45 minutes a day to clean the kitchen and zip through the rest of the rooms. It isn’t perfect, but I feel relaxed and happy in our home.
I have my own cleaning service and I agree! A seasonal deep clean, a move in or move out clean is important and can bring my clients a sense of joy and accomplishment, however, to pay someone to do the basics every two weeks instead of passing out a chore list, gets very expensive. Plus, you do have to do a certain amount of cleaning before the cleaning service arrives. It’s the difference between a house cleaner and a housekeeper, and most families can’t afford a housekeeper.
Great point!
I’ve been back and forth about this for the same reasons. I’ve settled on hiring a once-a-month maid to take care of the real cleaning (deep cleaning bathrooms, dusting baseboards and blinds – oh, the blinds! – mopping all of the hardwoods, wiping down cabinets, vacuuming under beds, etc.). Working full time with kids in sports and a traveling husband does not leave us much time to dust blinds or mop behind the toilet! It’s all I can do to keep it presentable for when neighbors or friends pop by.
I think a monthly deep clean will make me feel less guilty about spending the money only to have it messed up 5 minutes later. But at least I’ll know that the house really is CLEAN once a month and our family can take care of what I call tidying in between (daily kitchen cleanups, weekly vacuuming and bathrooms, etc.).
Totally agree! I also have 5 children. A wise older lady gave me some advice a few years ago which has helped me. She divided her house up and focused on certain rooms certain days. Monday is kids bedrooms, bathrooms and ironing, Tuesday is family room, office and main level bathroom, etc. On those days I dust, and do deeper cleaning and organizing, etc. and assign my children a chore in those rooms like the toilet, vacuum,etc. When we stick to the schedule our house looks amazing!
While they are very young just take deep breaths and know it will get easier when they are able to responsibly take on more chores. Until then it is a losing battle unless you have a daily housekeeper. (Husbands are a different messy story and sometimes worse than toddlers! In my opinion they are untrainable…haha.) My two girls are now fighting the “no time to clean” battle in their own homes with their own young children. I just smile when they complain about the constant mess in their homes and think…KARMA!
I feel like my mom might be thinking the same thing. ;)
I feel the same way about a babysitter sometimes. I kill myself cleaning up, making the kids dinner, and getting ready before the sitter comes. Then I get home wiped out and exhausted the next day from staying out later than normal and Gavin more than one cocktail. Only worth it on very special occasions!
Oh my goodness I can so relate to this post .When my kids were small I had a cleaning service and realized the same thing. It was great the first day but the results didn’t last long enough for me to justify the $. And the pick up beforehand was SO stressful! So now I do like you and stay on top of the kitchen and toilets and do the best I can with the rest! I make the kids responsible for their bathrooms and bedrooms. If I had someone to pick everything up as I did for the cleaners the cleaning would be a breeze! It’s totally the pick up that makes it so much work. So I try to pick up in the evenings throughout the week and that helps alot!
I have gone back & forth about keeping our 2 cleaning ladies. I work with them while they are here which I oddly enjoy. They give me 2 hours every 3 weeks leaving our home polished by 10:30 a.m. which allows me a few blissful hours until our kids descend from school ;). For now, those hours are totally worth it! And in truth, I can more easily maintain a cleaner home with their help. Once summer hits…all bets are off and I will need to embrace the mess.
Emily – I love your kitchen faucet (looked all over your blog for a link) & while I like the one you linked to in this post, I LOVE your actual kitchen faucet. Any more info on it? Thanks from a big fan of your blog :)