Oh, all of you sweet young mommas, with your perfectly decorated nurseries, freshly painted walls and everything arranged in pretty little baskets. . . Just you wait. Your day is coming—even if you think it never will.
Today was the first day all three big kids had a full day of school, and I walked into the girls’ bedroom thinking I might do a sneaky clean up. Then, I saw this, got discouraged and walked back out.
(No matter how many baskets, bins or drawers I give them, there is some magical magnetic force that causes it all to land on top of the dresser.)
While it looks like “stuff” to me, it looks like treasures to them. I see a door covered in papers held up by electrical tape (!?). They see an ode to Taylor Swift, cute dogs, Gabby Douglas or whatever it is they happen to love at the moment. I can remember being so proud of my space growing up, and I want them to feel the same.
Because I write a blog about decorating our house, I’ve had to be a little more conscious in making the decision to let them have some “free reign.” (Even if that means biting my tongue. Often.) I have to remember that they didn’t sign up for this blogging thing. They were just kind of born into it.
I’m not giving up on decorating their rooms completely. For now, I’ll just try to give them a good base to pile all of their treasures up on and, as we like to sing around here, “let it go.”
And, maybe on occasion, I’ll shove everything in the closet and under the beds and take some pictures for the blog so that you’ll know there really are some pretty pillows under all of those baby dolls.
How much control do you give your kids when it comes to decorating their rooms?
Walk away, shut the door, don’t look back!
I am a believer in allowing kids make decisions in their own rooms. I can remember when I was about 12 being inspired by a photo in a magazine and wanting to completely re-do my room in pink and lavender (two colors I dislike today). I made a template, and painstakingly cut flower shapes from felt, and glued them around the mirror that hung over my dresser. I also hideously painted bedside tables (think flat latex paint before the advent of chalk paint). I loved it. Fortunately, I also grew out of it. But I can still recall the excitement and thrill every time I opened the door to my room and realized over and over that I had created this sanctuary.
I love this post and can so relate! I try to do what I can as far as foundation but things ALWAYS END UP ON THE TOP OF ALL SURFACES! That’s the biggest thing we do when it’s time to cleanup. :)
Oh, I can soooo relate. Any horizontal surface is a gathering place for “junk” (treasure) in our oldest’s bedroom. Even with regular cleaning it builds up SO fast! And she is only 6! I am like you, I try to give them free reign as much as is safely possible (cause no one wants to be tripping over stuff at 2am) but it certainly isn’t pretty. : )
The older my daughter gets the more I’m able to let it go, she just turned 16, let’s just say her door is closed alot! It’s a little hard when it comes to the decorator in me but it’s her space. Twice a year though I make her do a purge with me, we donate & toss if not her room would end up on hoarders!
Doors were invented to hide the mess in children’s rooms. There is more fun ahead. Wait tip your sons start erecting lofts and suspending TV’s from the ceiling. Save any future plans for when they get their own apartments and move out. You will then find that your housekeeping hints and efforts didn’t fall on deaf ears. They may not be neat all the time but they will pick up if you are expected. I do miss the boy who would mow the lawn for food.
Barbara
I have soon-to-be 13 year old triplet sons. They each got their own room at 12 years old and had complete freedom to decorate as they saw fit. One wanted a football theme, so we sat together and picked out a comforter set online and wonderful football themed artwork from Etsy. Another wanted WWE — as in wrestling — as in I completely hate it! But he and I worked together to paint and put rope on his walls to look like a wrestling ring. And the final son wanted a KISS themed bedroom. Yes, the rock band. He has black velvet curtains, guitars hung on the wall, a huge 8 ft. tall KISS poster, and even stage lights. They absolutely LOVE their rooms. And it makes me smile when a new friend comes over and they show off their rooms. If they had a cookie cutter Pottery Barn style room, I’m not sure what their friends would say (hey – this looks like it could be in a magazine, maybe?!!!).
You’re a good mom. I probably would’ve put my foot down at wrestling and Kiss. :)
Too funny! I’m expecting twins and one of those young mamas (to be) you describe…for now! Hey I will take advantage of it while I can before my two little girls take over!
They will most likely destroy your house but will be one of the biggest blessings ever. Congrats!!
Emily, we have to tell her honestly…they will DEFINITELY destroy your house! Just last night my 11 year old and the 2 neighbor boys built a barricade in the hallway with the couch cushions (ALL of them) and then were running and jumping into them. It looked like an F5 tornado had come through my home. However, they had a blast! The house was filled with laughter and the cushions returned to their home… all was good! Enjoy those precious little things…time will fly! They only want to pull the cushions off the couches for so long…
Oh Emily! I can totally relate! My 12 years old son’s room is a disaster area. And he has a hamster, named after Taylor Swift. Taylor magically got loose one day, he and some other kids thought it would be fun to try to catch Taylor. That thing roamed around somewhere in his room for 3 days…..finally bounced down over the balcony and into the living room, and darned if that thing didn’t live!! Oh well, in my case I am slowly working on this boy to take care of his room~~at least he now will occasionally watch HGTV (ha!) and is picking up on design and some order somewhat….maybe one day will apply to his room?
That’s a tough hamster! :)
I am the mother of four and I totally advocate letting children have control of their rooms. We are a military family and as a result, we moved around a lot when my kids were little. My daughter was eight when we moved into our current home, and she loved decorating her own “permanent” space. Over the years, she doodled on the walls and ceiling and kept a constantly rotating collage on her bedroom door. She recently left for college, and the thing that I “bit my tongue” about became one of my favorite memories of her childhood.
They are only young once…
Relax. Allow your child to have expression , you certainly do. We are all so image conscious , let your child develop his sense is style.
It is nice to know my kids are not the only ones accumulating stuff. Just like you, I sometimes do complimentary “clean-uppings” (a word made by my daughter). Funny, but no matter how much is thrown away, in a week all the surfaces will be covered again:)) One day we will remember this and smile, perhaps, with a little sadness. Thanks for the post!
Started to face this issue this summer. All of their trinkets are so important to them. That’s okay, we’ll do a purge before Christmas. I do like to be in control of their clothing.
Both my kids are grown up now, but when they were at home we always had a lot of fun decorating their rooms together. I let them pick whatever colors and themes they liked and then we would come up with accessories to put it all together. My daughter’s room went through a pink princess phase, a cowgirl phase (everything denim and bandana!) a tie-dye phase, while my son went through sports, something that resembled a hunting lodge, classic rock with all my old album covers stapled to the walls, and what could only be described as modern industrial. My only rules were that at the end of the day and the beginning of the day, everything was to be neat and in it’s place. Yep, I was that mom. Clean rooms were a way of life. And you know what? They both grew up to be total slobs! lol I guess it all backfired but at least their rooms looked good when they lived with me. ;)
I decorated my ds’s room because he didn’t care. He added what he saw fit. Legos and cars. He was 5. Later he dropped he legos and cars and went for Star Wars. He was 7. When he hit 15 he
blossomed. His room went classic black & white. One wall was black and white vertical stripes, the next was 12×12 squares, then horizontal stripes and the last was harlequin. All trim was black and the ceiling was white *thank God* ;). Bedding was also black & white. Over done for sure but he loved it. Kept it through college. My eyes crossed every time I walked into that room and left me with never wanting another B&W room again. I would ask every now and then if he was sure this was what he wanted cause a little goes a long way. Yep, he’d say.
Oh and black & white cut pile carpet and b&w ticking window shades. ha.
He’s married now and I’m happy to say his taste has changed.
At least he knows what he likes!
Absolutely love this post! I am a neat freak…and for a mom to 5 as well I have had to learn to just shut the doors. My oldest daughter is 12 and just recently got her own bedroom. I was so excited to decorate her room but in the end I gave her complete control over her room. She picked the bedding, her desk, and the wall art. And I have to say I am quite impressed with how it’s coming together and most importantly she loves it! Clothes on the floor and messy dressers will all to soon be gone and I am slowly learning to just embrace the mess. Thanks for your post!
Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door. This will be my new mantra. (See? I know all the words too.)
We should do a duet. I’m very good.
total
Believe it or not, they both have one behind the door and it still looks like this! Ha!!
My twins are only 3 but so far for my sanity (and to appease my minimalist gene) their room has no furniture except their beds…. and I hope to keep it that way for as long as possible. If we survived the baby era without a dresser, I think it should be good
(fingers and toes crossed)
how about doing a bulletin board for their doors…save on electrical tape!
I love your real life blog, Emily. I have a 7 year old girl and a five year old boy that have a million “treasures” that I so badly want to toss. I did find a great item that helps corral all those random little things that don’t fit into a bin or basket. Like prizes from the dentist, rocks found on a walk, an old change purse grandma gave her etc.
it has worked great so far!
http://m.landofnod.com/touch-tone-numbered-wall-hanger/s200603
You are a GREAT mom!!!!!
I usually give them a few options for bedding that I like and let them choose… But I try to really honor their likes and dislikes. We are right now transitioning our almost five year old son from a nursery theme to a more grown up design and while I really wanted the room to be green and navy blue, he is WILD for the color yellow so I gave up the green and used yellow as the accent color instead. I try to teach my older girls the concepts of scale, layers, texture and color while letting have say in what they choose. They do lots of things that I wouldn’t but I so feel like it is their space, within reason, and we go with the flow. Keeping it neat is a whole other battle… And one that I am not winning!
I had to comment. My daughter is a single, hardworking, 39yr old home owner. And her home is a pig stye!
She wasn’t raised to live like this. When she was growing up, I had her do certain cleaning chores. Including picking up her room every night before she went to bed. I thought I was teaching her responsibility. As she got older, her schedule got so busy that these things kind of fell by the wayside. I made a comment to her once about her room being so bad that I couldn’t even see the floor. She needed to make an effort to clean her room.
She told me that if that was my only complaint, then I should consider myself lucky. She never got into trouble. Got good grades & worked hard. So I never brought it up to her again. I just kept her door closed so I didn’t have to look at it.
Several years later she got her first apartment & a dog. Then later she bought a townhouse. I can’t begin to tell you how disgusting her home is. She works all the time & when she’s not working she’s with her friends. She told me shortly after she moved in that I’d better not ever comment on her housekeeping or else she wouldn’t have me over. So I keep my mouth shut….most of the time.
I can’t help but wonder if I had continued with making her do her chores, if she would still think house keeping is a waste of time.
I love this! The broken bobble-head from the baseball game, the rubberband bracelets, the ticket stubs, the rocks and lanyards…all treasures that never seem to make it into the decorative bins I bought to help the kids stay organized. I’ve come to terms with them liking their stuff out where they can admire it. My oldest is in his senior year of high school and his room is covered with posters and random things tacked to the walls. Underneath it all, there is some pretty paint and a nice duvet cover, but at this point, I’m just happy to have him home for one more year, and so I can laugh at the massive sombrero nailed to a wall. I have lovely plans for that room when he’s away at college next year- one of them includes vacuuming without the need to use a bulldozer first!
So, you’re saying it’ll get worse before it gets better?? :)
Lovely post, Emily! My almost-four-year-old has just started to have ideas about what his room should look like (I think he just recently realized he has his own room). It’s really hard to take things down or rearrange something that means so much to them (our son did the same with electrical tape but I traded him for blue painters tape).
Oh how I can relate! I try to let go, but draw the line when the door won’t open all the way because my teen son’s clothes are all over the floor. My daughter’s room is full of treasures, but she loves to reorganize and decorate, so I seize those opportunities when her treasures start to take over her room. My middle son usually stays on top of things, so they usually don’t get completely out of hand – but I’ve been amazed at the junk I’ve found underneath his bed! That’s why bedrooms have doors, right? ;-)
The older my kids get, the more I let go. I don’t know if it’s that they just wear you down or you gain more perspective but I totally agree that it’s important to let go of the little things. I have also started letting my older ones dress themselves and it’s just as hard to me as not choosing their decor but I have seen how happy it makes them. It makes their day and it’s one less thing for me to worry about. Win win.
Guilty over here for the perfectly kept nursery and arranged stuffed animals in the basket! My son is only 3 months old…so I think I still have some time, right??
Of course! You deserve to dream that dream like the rest of us :) Can’t believe the babe is already 3 months old…
I am a bit further down this road than you sweet Emily. Long ago, when I wanted to retain ‘control’ over my girls’ rooms, I remembered when I first got interested in design and decorating – when I was young! Remembering THAT and how I loved making my childhood bedroom my own, made feel strongly that my girls’ rooms had to reflect who they were, not their momma.
Now, if you were to walk in my girls’ rooms tonight……what would their bedrooms tell you about WHO they really are……????? Well the almost 16 year old’s bedroom would tell you that most definitely, she will never be a designer/decorator, is not much of an organizer, prefers the ‘find it on the floor’ method of organization, has an affinity for stinky soccer gear, pony tail holders, water bottles, make-up and is not a fan of making her bed – like EVER.
The 12 year old’s room would tell you she has decided to expand her fashion designing/sketching hobby a bit further and is now running a full-on designing/manufacturing facility out of her bedroom complete with sewing machine and all that goes with that including a mannequin. Also, she is not so much a fan of making her bed but loves all sorts of fluffy pillows and any stuffed giraffe which seem to multiply……..on her floor.
You get the idea……
xo~Jill
I am a total advocate of allowing kids to create spaces that have meaning to them. We are in the process of downsizing and my kids both have total control over what they want their rooms to look like. Mine are 11 and 6 and are both very creative and artistic. As a designer, I relish in allowing them to discover their own creative voice. At the end of the day their rooms are their safe havens, its where they will have sleepovers, where they get sent when they are being naughty, where they go when they need a moment away from it all. I want it to be a space that is unique to each of them. We are having fun creating spaces they both will love.
Aaah, what a great post. I’m in the middle of this right now. Fortunately, my boys are obsessed with history and WWII and I love that era. We all agreed on some vintage war propaganda posters and lots of old maps which are so “Pinterest perfect,” no? I thought I was on a roll but alas, my oldest drew the line at the vintage steamer trunk–it was pretty beat up and his eyes nearly popped out of his head! “You want to put that old thing in my room???? Can’t I have something new?” Then we threw in the camouflage duvets and the lego clutter and my designer-worthy kid room vision sort of fell apart. Just kidding (sort of!) I want them to have their own space and decorate it the way they’d like. Thanks, Emily for showing off your daughter’s dresser clutter. I always appreciate it when bloggers show their “real mom” side, and you’re the most down-to earth blogger I follow! That’s a compliment, by the way :)
Thanks, Michele. Totally take that as a compliment :)
Your pics made me chuckle. My 9-year old son has ‘written’ his name and ‘title’ (DaBossKid) on his bedroom door with blue painters tape (?!) and has that same funny, orange blow-up doll in your photo (school carnival?). My daughter prints beautiful pictures from Pinterest and her own photography adventures with her iPhone and tapes them to her wall to form a giant collage. Have to say, it looks fabulous and every time I see it – covering those walls I painstakingly painted – it makes me smile because it is just so her.
This is slightly off topic, but do you like the white IKEA dresser shown in the pictures? I am looking for a new dresser and am thinking about that one. Does it hold up well?
Rachael, I really like it. Lots of good storage space!
Love this post and so many “reality” shots — this is definitely my life with active, imagination-filled kids. BUT once we’re back to school next week, I’ll run through their rooms and discard a few “treasures” — like the 2013 football schedules!
Great post! So true. They need freedom in their own space. Just through osmosis, my 5 year old daughter is kinda into design stuff too, so it’s funny to see her “style” things.
Ha! So, you’re saying it’s like having a bunch of husbands? ;)
I think I’m in the minority. I have 4 kids 9 – 19. While I have let them choose color schemes, what kind of accessories they like, etc. I don’t give them full reign. I discuss design principles with them, why I am not going to paint the wall bubble gum pink (I have to live here too!), and why I might lose my mind if they put posters on the ceiling! I think my kids are more design-savvy and do better reigning it all in on their own and have a taste for “less is more” had I let them just go crazy.
That being said, they each have a pin board that they can put whatever they want on (within our family morals and beliefs). If one poster takes the whole space, that’s their choice. Two of my kids’ boards have a crazy mix of whatever, and the other two have neat and tidy quotes, schedules, pictures of family, etc.
I remember the days of feeling like I was lunatic Mom on Saturdays when the piles seemed never-ending, but that gets better as they get older. While it’s hard to find a good balance between keeping the house orderly and letting kids be kids, I think it’s possible. I don’t always have a super neat and tidy house, but I often do and have with 4 kids. I guess I just don’t believe in letting everything go in the name of kids “finding themselves”. They express their style in so many other ways that don’t infringe upon the peace in my home and my sanity!
Your children’s Taylor Swift pinned up pictures reminded me of my now 25-year old daughter’s pin-ups in her room when she was 13. I entered her room one day to find magazine cut-outs of women. She dedicated a wall in her room to women of all shapes and sizes. She was honoring women no matter what they looked like nor what they believed in. The pictures and quotes embracing ALL women made me so proud of my young daughter who was learning the importance of embracing herself as a young woman regardless of the negative messages the media and/or society were putting out. Just discovered your blog and am loving it!
Lorraine
Mine are all teens and older and I give them 95% control — I provide the basic pieces, they provide the personality. Some day when they’re all on their own, I’ll redo them to my taste, but for now, it’s theirs to decorate!
xo Heidi
Every 6 months my messy daughter would totally ‘re-do’ her room. Wall painting, trim painting, curtains, bed, pillows, etc… Today, she is an architectural interior designer. I’m so glad I put up with the painful mess and clutter and her creative mind.